>Where Has The Fun Gone

>When I first started this blog it was supposed to be a place where I could show the things I had made on my knitting machines along with things that happened in my daily life.

At first I had very few visitors and my hit counter hardly changed from one day to the next but gradually over time I found that I had more and more regular readers.

For a time I moved the blog to Blogdrive but after a while I brought it back to Blogger.

I started making videos showing how I did various different things on the machines and I really enjoyed making them.

I found that more and more people were finding my blog through Google and I thought it was amazing that this little blog of mine was showing up a lot of the time on the first page of search results.

I now have over 200 YouTube subscribers and the first video I uploaded there has had over 58,000 views which I still find quite unbelievable.

But just lately I’ve become quite disheartened with the blog and the videos. Not because of bad comments or anything like that but because it’s no fun anymore. It got to the stage where I didn’t have time to use the knitting machines for what I wanted to do anymore, I seemed to be doing things for anyone but myself.

Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind helping people – I know how frustrating it is when you just can’t get things to work properly and you need someone to show you. When I first started machine knitting on the Bond twenty-something years ago there was no internet, there wasn’t even an instructional video with the machine so I had to learn with just the instruction books. I could have given up when things went wrong but I persevered and made them work. It would have been so much easier if I could have been shown how to do it but there was no-one, at least no-one that I knew. So I thought I would try and help people out by making a few little videos showing me using my machine and the feedback I received was that people were finding them useful, which was what I had hoped for.

The videos I made although fun to do were just so time consuming to edit and upload. I would plan to knit something on a weekend when I had the time but then someone would email me asking to make a video showing how to do something. Instead of doing what I’d planned I would make the video instead. In the end the videos became a chore but I didn’t want to let people down, after all they had asked me for help so I didn’t want to refuse.

People would ask me questions that I didn’t know the answers to so I would spend time Googling and searching the internet to find the answers so that I could tell them what they needed to know. A couple of weeks ago I was doing just that when I asked myself “why am I doing this?”, if I can look for the answers to their questions why can’t they? Maybe they found my blog by Googling but if I don’t know the answer surely they can Google some more until they find what they need to know? I have a life of my own, I want to use my free time for me. Maybe I’m being a little selfish but that’s how I feel right now.

There’s only so much I can do and I seem to have ended up doing things because I feel I have to rather than because I want to. Machine knitting was supposed to be my hobby but it just seems to have become more than that now and it’s not as enjoyable for me as it used to be.

For a while I thought about deleting the blog just to get away from it but I changed my mind. Instead I’m just going to use the blog to show the things I’ve made (which was how it was when I first started it). I’m not going to make any more videos unless I feel like it. I’ve removed my email address from my profile and I’ve disabled comments, not because I don’t want to talk to anyone but because I want to take a breather for a while.

I would like to thank each and every one of you who have visited my blog and everyone who has left me comments. I appreciate all your kind words and the fact that you keep coming back to read what I have to say. Those of you who have been regular visitors for a while will probably think I’m just having another of my little tantrums but that’s not the case – this has been on my mind for a few weeks now.

I won’t be posting much for a while but hopefully in time I’ll get my enthusiasm back – who knows.

I just want it to be fun again.

Talk to you later,

Susan.

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